Table Of Contents

Thursday, March 2, 2006

no. 002 [too many emotions for one day...]


"Hold Me Down" by Motion City Soundtrack

[sorry if i've been weird today...i'm goin' through a lot...i keep thinkin' about a lot of stuff that i shouldn't...girls, school, my future, this band that i'm tryin' to get up and running, carlo in iraq, failure, love, matt v., leaving california, "hold me down" by motion city soundtrack (thanx a lot carlo!...that one's u'r fault), not being able to go to patterson for my lil' cuz's b-day, the meaning of life, trying to understand why my life has gone in the direction that it has gone, disputing whether or not moving here from hayward was for the best, trying to understand why i have absolutely no luck with girls, i have been questioning my significance in life (not like suicidal or anything), questioning if i am a "fun person" or not (cuz it seems like i'm not)...i don't know...i keep feeling like i have a huge hole in my chest...and i hate feeling like this...i'm not sad, i'm not happy, or angry, or depressed...i just feel empty...eh...i guess this sounds kind of stupid huh?...i guess i just need that sense of reassurance...like people just saying hi and telling me that they care about me and stuff...i don't know...i think the happiest i have ever been was when nick hugged me and told me that he was really glad that i was his friend, and that he was happy that i was there for him during that whole danielle thing... :) sounds corny huh?...haha...but seriously...that was probably the happiest i have ever been...i love that guy...is there a point to this madness?...haha...i guess not...i don't know anymore...eh...i have just blabbed on for no apparent reason...???...wierd...eh...too many emotions for one fuckin' day...i seriously need to take some nyquil and get some sleep...haha...]
-[antony]
[ps]: for the cd, the song is "Hold Me Down"...thanx Carlo for keepin' that on u'r myspace...now every time i hear it i think of you...you better take care over there!...and get u'r ass home as soon as you can...when you get back we'll go camping, play some "ghetto poker", and sneak into an R rated movie and tell them that we went to see "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen"...haha...good times...