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Sunday, February 15, 2009

no. 032 [candy hearts...]

"Candy Hearts" by Tofer Brown

Valentine’s Day is such a cliché’ day. I heard earlier today that it’s just another chance for a guy to totally fuck up. As noted in my very first one of these, I’m not a big fan of today, however, as today comes to an end I can honestly look back and say that it wasn’t so bad.

It’s a given that being single today kinda sucks, but oh well. I’ve survived so far, so I think I can make it another hour and a half to finish it off.

I found an old writing about Valentine’s Day that I did not post, for various reasons, which I had written exactly one year ago today. It was pretty harsh, and insanely irrelevant to how I’m feeling now, and could be misconstrued and have certain parts substituted with something, or someone else. Hence why I am refusing to post it right now, and am currently rewriting this blog so that it has some relevance, and a point that’s a little more cheery than “I don’t think I ever liked her”. Haha, that was last year’s message. Nice huh?

It’s funny how much a year has made me re-think this “holiday”. I still have a stigma about it due to what has happened in the past, but I know I’ll move on eventually. I’m making progress. Hey, spending it with some good friends sure beats the hell out sitting alone complaining about it; or forcing yourself to act a certain way for someone you don’t even really care about; or being heartbroken, because you know exactly what today should have been (sorry buddy).

So what, I didn’t have a quote, “Valentine” for today. I still had fun. I made dinner for some friends, laughed about how we have a stuffed dog in my loft, yeah, watched Scrubs almost immediately after having a discussion about Rowdy, and just plain having fun. I took it as just another day. I think that’s the best advice I can give all of you who are taking the alternative and celebrating S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day) instead of the traditional Valentine’s Day (and no, I didn’t just make up that S.A.D. thing).

While we're on the whole “sad” note, I still think it’s a little sad that we chose to celebrate love one day a year. Do I think Valentine’s Day is still a Hallmark Holiday? Eh, to a certain degree I guess I still do, but I do think it’s nice to have. Sometimes cliché’ is a good thing…I think.

I think the point I’m trying to make is that things could be a lot worse, and I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Given that today started off really crappy, I was still able to make the day ok as a whole. I guess today’s lesson for me is “it’s better to be alone, than trying to make the wrong girl right.” Sucks, I know, but I’m ok with it…I think.

So yet another Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and this time it didn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth. Actually, I think I may still be tasting those heart-shaped rice crispy treats my mom made, haha! But I digress, it could have been a lot worse. Even though it didn’t go the way I would have liked it to, it was still fun. And it sure beats the hell out of staying at home alone.

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