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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

no. 053 [beyond the yellow brick road: my scarecrow...]


"S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W" by My Chemical Romance


"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves -
regret for the past and fear of the future."
-Fulton Oursler

move your body when the sunlight dies
everybody hide your body from the scarecrow
everybody hide...


I think I think too much. Seriously, I'm pretty sure I've started a blog off with that line already, but I don't care. I'm going with it. Honestly, I think that fear is all in our minds. We give things so much importance, so much meaning, so much power, that in our minds they become so fragile, so dominant, so scary, yet in real life they aren't. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense whatsoever, but I will try my best to decipher the meanings here.

I've often described a battle between my head and my heart within my blogs. Well, since I've written one about 'my missing part' I thought it would be appropriate to write one about the other side of the coin.

If I only had a brain...but sometimes ignorance is bliss. You see, once you start to think of things, really think of things, you start to think about the good, the bad, the best case scenarios, the worst case scenarios, then it spirals out of control until you are paralyzed, looking at what it is that you fear from a distance, too afraid to even get close to it. The fear blankets the very existence of said person, place, or thing, until it is nothing more than a dark shadow pushed far way in the distance, looming over the horizon, towering over a land unexplored like a protector. The very thoughts you thunk up yourself, culminated into this thing, object, persona, or vortex of doom that you have given this sense of character to, that in reality is no more than just another thought.

move your body when the sunlight dies
everybody hide your body from the scarecrow
everybody hide...


The mind is a terrible thing to waste, especially when you start to second guess everything that you have come up with. Instead all these wonderful thoughts have become 'what ifs', and 'can I really's?' The fear cripples us, as we stay back, staring at it from afar, hoping that one day it will be toppled down by the wind. But then a day comes when you can't wait, you can't wonder what if anymore, and you lose your thoughts, and walk up to it.

love, love, love won't stop this
love, love, love won't stop this
love, love, love won't stop this


Its funny, because in a way I think the only thing that can stop fear is fear itself; well, fear and love, or love induced fear. It's when you become so fearful of losing that person, place, or thing; so fearful that you'll miss out, that if you don't do something soon it'll be too late, that's when that fear doesn't seem so scary anymore.

It's once you just stop thinking for a second and face your fear, walk up to it, you'll realize that what you have been afraid of has been in your mind the entire time. Silk and straw, nothing more, nothing less. The thing you feared the most made up of your own thoughts perched up there smiling back at you. You're very own scarecrow...

2 comments:

  1. I don't know about you mister "it's not my best work," but I loved it. I think it fits perfectly with you whole Wizard of Oz themed writings. Can't wait for the Cowardly Lion blog :)

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  2. Oh, and I also love how you're not only talking about yourself in this blog. I know you didn't mean to after that discussion we had yesterday, but I am convinced that your subconscious did. Talking about RED, BLUE, and you know who ;)

    ps: How are things going with her anyway? Are you two back together yet?

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