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Friday, December 31, 2010

no. 057 [beyond the yellow brick road: my winding road (never look back)...]

"Never Look Back" by Zach Berkman

I've spent a long time on this yellow brick road. I've learned many lessons, gone through a lot, but I'm starting to grow weary of this journey. For so long now I've been able to say that I know how I feel, yet I've lacked the courage to do anything about it. As I near the end of this golden path I think, and feel in my heart that I'm finally ready.

Courage isn't so much about facing fears, that's bravery. Having courage isn't about loving, that's necessity. Courage is about doing something about it, about being able to love, and wanting to love. It's about standing up and saying what you are willing to say, scratch that, what you need to say, to give it another shot, to be ready to let the world know exactly how you feel, and be ready to get your ass kicked by love. You have to risk it all. I've been sitting on the sidelines for far too long, holding onto the memories. Today I find the courage.

To me, the courage is to speak up, to move forward, to start a new day, to make new memories, to let go of the past, let go of hoping, let go of over thinking. Today I try not because I want a happy ending, not because I want something good to write about, not because I need to, but because I want to, and I have the courage to do so. I'm tired of these letters from the sky with their code words and reading between the line. Today I write a new story, one hopefully involving you.

I'm not saying Superman returns tonight, but I am saying that I'll try my hardest to be your hero, because despite everything that has happened, you're worth it. Bree, tonight I finally find the courage.

So I walk this yellow brick road, with the heart of a lion, a mind as pure as gold, and the courage I've been looking for. Funny thing is, it's been here all along. Tonight there are no more what if's, or should I's. Tonight I build my own path. The yellow brick road is winding down for me, and the next stop will hopefully be home. And I'll run, and never look back...

1 comment:

  1. I sorta like this blog, but with things being the way they are now I hope you don't leave this whole "beyond the yellow brick road" series at its end with this entry. I expect that "home" blog to round it off ;)