Table Of Contents

Friday, January 14, 2011

no. 060 [runaway, pt.2...]

"Runaway" by Kanye West (Feat. Pusha T)

Here I stand at a crossroads. One path leading to hope, the other quite possibly to realism. But which to choose? My head says one way, but my heart says the other. One seems doable, while the other is just too hard. Why can't I seem to make this decision? There is no one by my side, no voices to tell me what I should or should not do. All that's left is me, and two paths. One that winds and goes on forever, the other leading into the woods. There is no coin to flip, no sound but the ticking of time, ringing like a single note played over and over in my ear. Can I do this? Do I want to? Am I ready?

Here I stand on the polar opposite of the spectrum. I find myself at the same table, but at the other end. A toast, proposed, but my cup is half empty, or is it half full? A half plate of food I'm not particularly familiar with. May I please be excused?

All this time, tick-tocking away, lifting up the smoke, the truth this time. It's all making sense. It's not my battle, yet I know where I stand. I know where I've been, and will hopefully never be again. But never say never. You can just hope for the best. But will the best be good enough?

I sit, looking at this mad tea party. But this time I won't toast for the same reasons the rest are. Because this time it's not my place, and it's not something I believe in. It's not me.

I know what's in my heart, and I have a pretty good idea of what's in yours. Give me a sign before I run or runaway. This decision doesn't need to be made today. I believe in second chances, compromises, and trying to work this out. I believe in you, in me, in us, in our love. Just say that you do too and I'll run. Don't let me go just yet, not without a fight.

It's not my battle, but I'm in your corner. Just tell me you want me here, or that you need me here. Hell, just tell me anything you can. Tell me what your heart wants, but what your lips are too afraid to say. Don't let me slip through the cracks, not this time.

Let's have a toast, but not for the same reason as last time. Let's switch it up, shake it up, let's tear down the walls and build a new foundation. We have a second chance at something great, but will we take it?

I'm too much of a romantic to let our past ruin this. I can't sit by and watch everything tear you apart. I can help if you let me, let me in, help me to understand. Let's be honest for once in our lives. It hurts, it really does, but that's love. If nothing else it'll hurt like crazy, but it will, beyond a shadow of a doubt, be entirely worth it.

Grab my hand, and let's leave this world behind. Let's make a new path, our own, like it was before, but entirely different. This time let's make honesty the foundation, and base it somewhere in reality. Let's try and tell what our hearts have always wanted to say. Let's write this fairytale ending. Let's break the rules and make our own. Let's give into the impulses, let's give into love. Hell, for once in our lives let's live. I'll run, but I'd much rather have you by my side.

Let's have a toast for the assholes, for the douchebags, for the mistakes we've made, and for the people we have become because of them. Let's have a toast to what we're yet to discover, for the people we have yet to become, to what we have yet to accomplish, and to what we have yet to learn; about life, love, and real happiness.

Don't let me go down this path, or the other one again. Come with me, let's get away, let's...


1 comment:

  1. "It's hard to wait around for something that you know might not happen but it's even harder to give up, when you know it's everything you ever wanted."

    I read that quote just now, thought you could relate to it.